Looking Back on 2019

Image of the author with their iguana perched on their shoulder, giving the camera a suspicious glance.

Last selfie of 2019. I’m so happy Jabs looked at the camera.

Hey, it’s the new year! Goodie gee. I didn’t have work off between Christmas and New Year’s this year, which is a shame because that’s usually my self-reflection time and I like it. Or I get all weird during it. One of the two! So my planning for this next year has been a little late, and I’ve also missed out on the wave of posts about the last year and/or decade.

But being a little late doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it, and I thought it might be fun! So over the next few days (weeks? depends on my schedule) I wanted to do those things anyway. This post is just reflecting on the past year. The next one will be on the decade, which will be buck wild because I’ve changed a lot. Like people tend to do, but still. And then after I’ve done all that I’ll talk about my goals for this next year. Continue reading

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Brian Eno, Smart Person

I just wanted to post this quote that I saw over on Mastodon, because holy shit is it on point and it’s an interesting way to think about a lot of contemporary art. (Transcript below the image.)

Continue reading

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November Start!

A pumpkin that has been carved with a basic image of Isabelle from the Animal Crossing series, lit from within so the lines of the carving stand out against the dark.

My pumpkin!

Hey everyone.

It’s November! We’ve made it past Halloween, a very fun holiday that I do enjoy, but that seems to creep out further and further every year, like Christmas. Except unlike Christmas, it doesn’t have any major holidays to stop it from extending further and further up the calendar. So I look forward to the future where we have New Year’s Day on 1/1, Halloween 1/2 – 10/31, Christmas 11/1 – 12/30 (with a one-day break for Thanksgiving), and New Year’s Eve 12/31. It’ll be great. And by great I mean awful, but at least we’ll be able to get the trick-or-treat size Hershey bars pretty much all year.

I didn’t get up to much for Halloween myself. A datefriend invited me along to a pumpkin carving party last weekend, where I met neat fellow queers and carved a pumpkin of Isabelle from Animal Crossing, pictured above. Which I promptly forgot to light on the actual night of Halloween itself. >_< On the actual night, besides forgetting to light my pumpkin, I ate pumpkin pie and reese’s cups, watched the first episode of *Riverdale* (which already has me excited for how the writing is going to be, number of conflict threads and pacing-wise), and played Halloween games with my adorable *Animal Crossing: New Leaf* villagers. Including giving Antonio far too much candy, because he is my anteater boyfriend forever and also I kept running into him as I ran about my town. Continue reading

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Observations From the Field: Online Dating

Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadeplhia gesturing wildly in front of a wall covered in pieces of paper connected by red lines in classic "conspiracy board" style.

I hopefully come off slightly better than this. Hopefully.

I’ve been diving back into online dating a little more recently, and boy howdy there are some patterns. (Or I’m like John Forbes Nash Jr. or Charlie on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and seeing patterns where there are none. One of the two!) So here are some observations: Continue reading

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Climate Strike (Anticapitalist Remix) Days 2345678 and Denouement

An Animal Crossing: New Leaf player character sitting on a log looking at a bonfire during a peaceful night.

So! Last time I posted, I was talking about the Climate Strike I was engaging in, with the anti-capitalist twist that I tried to spend as little money as possible during the strike, to protest capitalism itself as well. How’d that go?

It actually went pretty well! I was able to keep the money coming out of my pocket to paying for a couple of medical things for my pets and myself, and some parking costs related to that. Other than that, IIRC, there might have been some auto-pay things that went off in the background, but that was it. I packed and brought my lunch to work every day, working off the food I’d already purchased. I made dinner for my Sunday night RPG group so we didn’t need to order takeout. I tried to limit my driving, so I could make sure my tank of gas lasted the whole week.

It gave me a lot to chew on! I think the hardest thing on a just-me level was keeping myself entertained, because I threw on the arbitrary restriction of not using Netflix and Youtube during the strike. Which led to me getting a little stir-crazy in the evenings, because it turns out even though I don’t like watching a lot of TV, it’s a good way for me to keep myself entertained during dinner (which I’m usually eating alone, so conversation’s out), and for kind of greasing the wheels between dinner and then doing something else afterwards. I did end up doing a good bit of extra reading, sleeping a little more, and getting back into Animal Crossing: New Leaf. So there were upsides! (Someday, Antonio the Anteater will date me, his mayor. Someday!)

The other big struggle was engaging in social stuff. In the United States especially, there’s a distinct lack of free Third Places. This is made even moreso if it’s going to be dark or cold, because that rules out places like parks. One could go to the library, I guess? At any rate, I ended up needing to skip both of my writing groups, though I offered my place as an alternative for one of them. No one took me up on my offer, but maybe next time! A whatever-the-fuck-I-am can dream. It definitely put into sharp relief how often I meet up with people at coffee shops and the like. I’d like to figure out a better solution besides inviting people over to my apartment. Partially because Magnolia is the equivalent of the surface of Mars to most Seattlites (😢), and partially because it’s nice to have a relatively neutral place to meet. Especially when dating, because no matter how sweet someone is if the first time I meet them I’m at their house, one-on-one, I’m going to spend a significant amount of my brain cycles wondering if I’m going to get pressured into something I don’t want, turned into a lampshade, or both. So far the worst that’s happened is a lot of awkward sitting around while the other person smoked pot. But still!

So I think figuring out the social-stuff-without-money bit is going to be the biggest takeaway. That, and the fact that it’s a relatively low effort to reward ratio to make sure to bring your own meals to work and such, and that’s an easy way to not contribute to capitalism and save a lot of money on convenience food. Groundbreaking, I know.

Overall, I hope I had some small impact. And it definitely taught me that minimally engaging in capitalism is actually a lot easier than it’s made out to be, assuming you allow yourself room for necessities like medical care and food. You should give it a shot! I bet you’ll do great. 😀

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Climate Strike (Anticapitalist Remix) Days 0 and 1

A picture from behind of the crowd at the Climate Strike in ballard.

What a rowdy bunch of protestors. (Pretty good by Ballard standards, honestly. And we were the last strike of the day on the West Coast!)

Hey everyone, it’s climate strike time! Or Earthstrike. Or whatever you want to call it.

Today was the big event in the United States, and lots of people walked out all over the country, from their jobs and their schools (it is a youth-led movement, after all) to protest the world’s inaction on climate change. Because fucking seriously, if we can go to the moon in under a decade we can probably get 80% of the way to fixing stuff as much as we’ll be able to in the next 5-10 years. If we have that long. FUN TIMES.

Anyway.

In addition to the marches today, a friend of mine, emsenn, also proposed an extension of the idea of a general strike. Since many people are striking for the whole week of the 20th to the 27th (when the rest of the world is doing their strike), this general strike would take place over the entire week. It’d be a strike from participating in capitalism. Not only walking out on jobs, but on the entire system. They outline their reasoning here.

Seemed like a good idea to me. So I figured I’ll give it a go and talk about how it ended up working out. I’m not going to be able to completely eliminate my participation in capitalism, but I’m planning on vastly minimizing it. It’ll be fun. Or interesting. Or I’ll fuck it up somehow. But it’s definitely worth trying. Continue reading

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Awake

A screenshot of the Animatrix short Beyond. The main character is laying on her side on the ground, smiling.

Not the shot from Beyond I was planning on using, but fitting! Also: everyone remembers the Animatrix, right???

Short update but an exciting one! I’ve had a very happy development over the past week or so. After talking with my doctor, I had the dosage of my anti-depressant upped (it’s now at the maximum). I wasn’t expecting a lot, and was also given a referral to a psychiatrist for trying other medications in the future.

But it turns out, this new dose seems to help me stay awake during the day. Less intrusive sleep, less falling asleep super-easily in the middle of things, and it’s easier to stay awake once I get up in the morning! Given that it used to be quite simple for me to fall asleep at my desk, on the couch, wherever, this is super super exciting for me. I sometimes still need caffeine still, but it’s more of a general boost now instead of a “it’s this or passing out at my desk.” Granted, there are a couple downsides. It’s harder to get to sleep at night, or get back to sleep. But both are still very manageable, and I’ll happily take not feeling exhausted all the time in exchange.

Hopefully this’ll last after my body gets a little more used to the new medication. But I’m very happy with this promising sign.

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Out the Window, Beyond the Wall

A field of golden-brown grass with a single black oak tree standing in it.

Not the view from my room, but also very California in its feel. I miss the oak trees, too. Image is public domain.

I managed to come down with the cold that’s going around. Which is bullshit, I demand an immediate cure so I can get on with my life! More seriously, it seems to be passing pretty quickly, and hopefully I’ll be feeling better by mid-week.

Talking to a friend about fencing in digging animals (they’re building an enclosure for possibly-wild turtle that got left in their apartment complex) reminded me of something. Back when I was a kid, a friend of mine, M, had a tortoise. M’s tortoise was an escape artist, and liked to dig under the fence and go tromp around the neighbor’s yard. At a certain point, M’s dad would just throw up a ladder to climb over the fence and go get the tortoise.

That’s not actually the point of this post, though I’m sure there’s something to be said about technically trespassing to retrieve a reptile.

It made me realize just how tall the fences and walls of our backyards were, in my neighborhood. I’d put them at seven or eight feet high, for the side fences, and eight to ten for the back brick wall that separated us from the drainage ditch out back. Continue reading

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Well Hello There

A picture of Jerry the leopard gecko looking right at the camera, which is roughly at his eye level, as he stands on a bed covered in red sheets.

Jerrybean! Hello!

It’s been a minute, which is more and more common between posts lately, much to my frustration. Full time day jobs, depression, and exhaustion are a pain and a half. But a quick summary of what’s been going on! Continue reading

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Pokemon Going Again

A screenshot of a straw-hatted female pikachu's pokemon screen in Pokemon Go.

Ed Note: I was getting all ready to write this post, and then my laptop battery died. But I had my alphasmart in my bag! Yay! And, uh, fell asleep at home before I could post it, so just pretend this went up on the 23rd instead.

Of course, now I need to actually figure out what to write about…

I picked up playing Pokemon Go again. I wanted an extra reason to go outside on my breaks at work, and it’s been working really well at encouraging to get out and go take a walk around the block instead of just sitting at my depressing-ass desk and flopping around the ‘net on my laptop for fifteen minutes. Continue reading

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